Confesh-sesh #1 : I don’t even post on IG and here I am starting a blog…
I’m having an existential crisis. I’m about to be 25, what have I accomplished? Not one fuck. Is my life going according to the meticulous plan I set out? I think the fuck not. AND to top it all off, I found a gray hair.
CUE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS!!
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When I was little I’d look at every fairytale and Indian movie possible and all the grown ups around me. When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, when I grow up I wanna live in a huge house and have 2 cars, when I grow up I’d own a business and I’d meet the love of my life and dance around trees and all that BS and just generally have my shit together.
Guess what… I grew up and that’s about it.
I’ve always wanted to start a blog, always thought it would be super glamorous. Very Carrie Bradshaw-esque, sitting in her NYC apartment all glammed, writing about her fun and exciting life. Meanwhile, I’m sitting on my bed, in my parents’ house, in my fucking nightie with a Cup of Noodles. I mean, who wears nighties? It’s that awkward piece of clothing that you wear when you’re really little or really old… Is there an in between? Oh yeah… ME.
SO naturally, in my own Nerala way, I decided to set up the entire blog on my own. I love a challenge… Actually it’s more like if there’s a choice between something really easy that will make life beautiful and easy and another option of a storming, scary, “makes your life hell” path, you bet I’m going with the difficult one. The road less traveled? YEP, that’s where I’m going. Of course, the easy option was the pre-made templates of a site with easy to use instructions. But nah, I wanted everything MY way because DUH! It’s my way or the highway.
Here I am, someone who is God AWFUL at anything technology related sitting down trying to figure out what hosting platforms and domains mean. Oh and coding! WHAT THE FUCK IS CODING? I have never seen a bunch of letters, numbers and symbols that confused me more than this. I thought med school was hard.
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Lemme tell you, I ruined my site countless times, locked myself out, took it offline, deleted it, probably caused a nuclear explosion somewhere and annoyed the hell out of tech support daily. Pretty sure they know me by name now. Nevertheless, HERE WE ARE!
This blog is a contradiction to me. It’s like life’s irony because I’ve literally always tried to be the most private person all my life. I had a lot of social media anxiety. If someone looks at me for 0.5 seconds I freak out and start running like Bolt. And here I am taking this risk writing this blog. People are MEAN. But it’s cool. I’m hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
When I decided to tell my friends that I’m starting a blog of course, they were super excited because God bless their poor souls, they think I’m funny or something. YASS B’S GAS ME UP! The question that then followed…‘So what’s it about?’
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Blank. What’s it about? I don’t know. I have no fucking clue.
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A couple months ago I was bored as usual and playing around on Snapchat where I came up with Confesh-sesh. Basically I’d confess and rant about rando shit and the 5 people I have on Snapchat actually started enjoying it and it became somewhat ‘my thing’. I was now Little Ms. Confesh-sesh.
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Like I said, I planned my life out since I was little. I had everything down to timelines, to age. My goals were set. I was going to be a doctor by 23, be with the love of my life and be getting married at 25 after internship, live in wedded ‘bliss’ until 26 and start my family at 27… LOLLLLLL!
I worked really hard to get my plan going. I was SUPER nerd, with the cape and everything and for the most part I was on track. Then one thing happened that derailed my entire life…