Part Eight: Let’s Party

Confesh-sesh #11: It’s my birthday week and I can cry if I want to…I’m supposed to be one year older, wiser, more mature… #NOTIT. Go home adulting, I’m too tired

Since this is my birthday week and the one month-aversary of this site I decided to change the tone of this rant today. It’s going to be all about me. Yassss. 

 

Birthdays are always a time that you sit back and reflect. Wow. That is SUCH an old person thing to say. I’m fucking reflecting on the 100000 years of my shitty life while I scrub my dentures in my rocking chair.

Kidding! That GIF is totally me as an old person. Turn back wayy…

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I just found out that tomorrow is a new holiday! Holy fucking shit! Is this every year or…? ‘Cuz a holiday 2 days before my birthday sounds PURFECT! Let’s just say it’s in my honor. You’re welcome bitches.

That GIF isn’t working but pretend that’s my happy dance.

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Anyway… Back to this reflection I’ve been doing. The past year has been a roller coaster. It was definitely one of the most challenging years in my entire life. I basically lost everything I cared about, I was humiliated, made a mockery of, the butt of some serious false rumors, I’ve had people I thought had my back turn completely against me, it was a huge shit show. And it was in that moment I turned into a huge alcoholic.

JOKING!

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I remember distinctly on my last birthday, I felt that I had everything I wanted. I had reached where I wanted to before schedule, I had my person, my family and my friends. I was good materialistically. There was nothing I wanted.

I remember the wish I made when blowing out my candles last year. I know I’m not supposed to say it but it’s a year later, think that wish reached its expiry date. I wished to be happy…

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When we wish for vague ass shit like that, the universe takes it upon itself in the oddest of ways to fulfill it. I really don’t understand why I couldn’t be like a normal person and wish to win the lotto or for a new makeup palette or even a fucking pony. The regular wishes that never come through.

Well universe, thank you, I am happy.

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I’ve been through hell and I’m still making my way back but for the most part I’m happy. It took losing everything to realize how much I still had. I am truly a very bad lucky person, I’m the walking Series of Unfortunate Events but through it all, I’m still so blessed…

Disclaimer: This shit about to get real sappy.

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If I’ve learnt anything over the past year is that there is no price on the people in your life. I’ve been through the shittiest thing anyone could go through, and the lesson I learnt from it all is that it’s ok and it will be ok. Whatever you’re going through, whatever challenge, you’re going to be ok. This too shall pass. With people who genuinely care about you and have your best interest at heart, you can face anything.

When I say I’m blessed, I’m referring to my family and my friends. It was so easy for them to turn their backs on me, instead they embraced me. I hit rock bottom and they were all there to pick me up, dust me off and get me back on my feet. They were my crutches for the first few months. I may not have the best of luck generally but I definitely got lucky with them in my life.

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I don’t know how I would have survived the past couple months without them. It would have been virtually impossible…

To my parents, (I know you guys always trolling my site, I check your history 🙂 ) I love you unconditionally. Thank you for sticking by my side, thank you for always believing in me, thank you for being hard on me in all the right ways and still giving me the leeway to make my mistakes. Thank you for pushing me when I felt like I couldn’t go anymore, when I was about ready to give up. Thank you for being the biggest support system a girl can ask for, for allowing me to completely breakdown and then pick me right back up. For moulding me into the person I am today, I know one mistake that I made does NOT in any way take away from the morals and values you’ve instilled in me. All in all, I didn’t turn out too bad and I owe that to you. Thank you for drying the insurmountable amount of tears I’ve cried in the past year and giving me back the strength to smile again. Believe me, I don’t say it often but I will do anything for you and to make you proud.

Here’s a picture of me in your favorite stage of my life.

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To my sisters, for the laughs, the cries, the jokes, the stories we’ve shared, nothing can compare. Thank you both for being there for me when I needed you most, for showing me that no matter what happens among us, when we need each other, it’s us against the world. Love you hoes.

I really like hotdogs so I just thought I’d bless y’all up with this.

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To my cousins, I don’t even know where to start… I LOVE Y’ALL! Thank you guys for always being there for me to vent to, even when you’ve heard the same story 10000000 times. Thank you for your advice and guidance. Mainly thanks for bearing the cutest children this world has ever seen who were my beacons of light in my dark times.

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To my best friends, all three of you, the awesome foursome. You guys showed me the true meaning of friendship, I don’t even consider you guys friends anymore, you guys are my family. You stuck by me through the toughest time in my life, you guys gave me hope. Thank you for our wild nights, our calm days, our arguments, the tears, the laughs, our absolute ridiculousness, thanks for being the 3 shoulders for me to cry on. Thank you bishes for believing in me, for supporting me with all my cray cray ideas and adventures. Thanks for showing me what the meaning of unbreakable friendship is. Can’t wait ’till we’re all old and gray and embarrassing our grandkids together.

#BishesBeTrippinOverOurFriendship #ComeAtUsHarder #WeIronClad

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To my #Bae, you haven’t been in my life very long but you’ve made all the difference. You’ve showed me what a true gentleman is. You’ve handled my tantrums like a champ, you’ve accepted me as broken as I was knowing I couldn’t give my all after what I’d been through. You continue to amuse me everyday, your little gestures, trust me I act like I don’t care but I see you boo. Thanks for making me feel like a true princess, and putting the effort into us that no one in my past has ever done. As much as I push you away, you keep pushing back. Thanks for sticking by my side and becoming my #1 supporter and my #1 fan. I luhhhh youuu. Thanks for trying to stick my broken pieces back together.

 

PS 

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To ALL of my other friends, the new ones, the old ones, thanks for making my life a litter brighter. Thanks for believing in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. Thanks for listening to my stories and still having my back through all the shit. Thanks for giving me the courage to be unapologetically myself. I love you guys.

I don’t know… I see a recurring theme here. I think I’m hungry.

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To my new confesh-sesh family, welcome aboard the crazy train. You’re in for a wild ride. There’s never a dull moment in these parts. Thanks for the support, the kind words. I’ve had a few people message me to tell me thanks for sharing my story and to thank me for the way I’d helped them through their situations (I speak directly to these people), and my goal with this is that if I can just help one person, to help them not feel so hopeless, to show them that they can overcome their situations, then I’d have succeeded. If my horrible experience can help someone else then I’m all for sharing it. So stick around! I share some juice too.
*sips tea*


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This 25th year is for you guys, I’d do everything to make you guys proud.

Serious tone over now…

Let’s turn up!